becoming

i'm one of the very few people around that can forget and lose track of technology...knowingly...and not care. sorry for that, i guess.
well i say that, while i do check email and fb nearly daily...but that's about the extent of my 'need'.
my point - here i am! late, as usual.
.......
more and more lately it is being brought to my attention that 'christian culture' is lacking in the art scene. and honestly i completely agree - but i would go a step further and say 'american culture' is lacking. at least at the family/normal person level. we live in mass-produced, cheap, and shallow boxes. and we put up mass-produced, cheap, and shallow art. we listen to mass-audience music and watch mass-audience tv, which means that unlike the [insert brand name here] ad would lead you to believe - buying their product makes you just like everyone else, rather than different and unique (as they tout). anyone else noticing that? "i'm special, rich, and unique - so in order to become special, rich, and unique do what i do!"
sigh.

my dad reminds me that the way to make money as a painter is to sell prints. i guess you wouldnt be terribly surprised if i told you i've not printed a single one (ok, small lie - my dad has one in his office). granted, i've not gotten around to printing much of my photography either. but, my ponder is - is the possibility of mass what keeps me loyal to 'originals only'? i mean, i dont care how much i sell something for - and i realize art is in the realm of luxury - but why cant we have original art in our homes? i work in a frame store, and i see prints that are pixelated and blotchy, or blurry. it makes me kinda sad.

that said though, my friends and family hate it when i low-sell 'myself'. they think i should charge more, even though i ask them, "who's buyin'?" and i think i just hit on another note - i'm not selling 'myself'. i have no desire to create myself into a brand (though i greatly appreciate graphic design and the application of brand consistency). i dont care to be famous, i just wouldnt mind making enough of a living to make my dad nervous while being financially independent. though i also wouldnt mind if some special, rich, and unique guy came along and handed me money with no conditions. but who would?

not sure where this ramble is going.

oh, i remember. reading a blog just a moment ago, and it started w/ "an artist accepting her calling" or something like that. i had to pause. i keep waiting for some other 'calling' to be brought to me, as if my pleasure in painting couldnt really be what God has me here to do. but what if it is? what if i am to bring some art to the christian scene that doesnt set well the the masses. what if i actually let myself paint something that provoked some reactions? wouldnt that just be crazy?