how many edits does it take to get to the center of a good intention?

i tried to say goodbye to a dear friend of mine, but it just turned into me walking completely away without a word. it's been years since we have even been friends, i mean really friends. it became more like acquaintances these last few years, neither of us knowing what was going on in the others life, and not really taking the time to find out either. i seem to be a common denominator to that friendship equation, as nearly all of my close friends over the years have found this occurrence come to pass. but this one was the closest, and i owe it to say goodbye.

i need to apologize for walking away in silence so often. for not just standing through it as i should have. i do miss you, i shouldn't lie about that. i prided myself if not allowing drama to continue into our friendship, but i was fighting my internal emotional mess the whole time. so, here i am, admitting that i am an emotional mess, and that this is why i had to walk away. i mean, goodness, who does this?

i always feel foolish when i speak to you. i wonder what we could even talk about these days.

anyway, i hope for only the best things for you. for deep love, for strong family, for good friends that are loyal in darkest times. i pray for your future children, that they look up to you and think you're better than superman even when they're teenagers.

i had a thought earlier that you might appreciate - the doctor is basically like combining mr. darcy and the madhatter.

so, i will end on that amusement. and bid you fare* well.


*apparently at least one more...oh typos.