i dont think hymns are "dry old people music",
and i dont think the current style is a concert.
so long as:
the hearts of the leaders, and those following their direction, are not concerned with each others approval, but only Christ's.
if that is not true, then neither style should be engaged in the corporate worship arena.
if the aim is to gain human approval, or the aim is to avoid being shamed by legalism without grace, or if the aim is to provide grace without a submissive heart unto the body of Christ - then the light within you is darkness.
ahem, in case you missed what i said or it hasnt sunk in yet: put a sign on the piano, the organ, the guitar, the drums - "out of order"
and let the music leader sit in the pews with you, no mic, no lyrics to follow.
wait for it....
you: "say WHAT!? if we dont sing hymns OR modern music, what DO we sing?"
uhm, nothing. that really, honestly is my point.
because we have issues.
because this is a divisive issue.
and things that divide should be addressed, not glossed over or ignored. they especially should not be given further distance and they should not be used to further separate the church. they should be dealt with under the authority of the Holy Spirit. and if we are not currently welcoming the direction of the Holy Spirit (which i would wager we are not, otherwise this would not be an issue as of yet unresolved at our current juncture). what if we called for a fast? not from food - but from music during our church service. if we are in disunity, why should God delight in our praises?
some of us may not even realize there are those distraught over this issue.
THAT is an issue.
we do not know each other. what if we spent the time sharing our stories instead of singing? would we be willing to still come to such a worship service? or would we bail out, taking it as a chance to pursue the music style of our preference somewhere else? when we walk through those building doors, we should be consciously bowing our heads to the authority and glory of the One who died and then conquered death so that we could find ourselves in the presence of God and not die. maybe then we would actually have the movement of the Holy Spirit in our midst.
what if?
part of the oppression in our church is our resistance of the Holy Spirit - he knows how he wants us to worship and will lead us. we are soul, spirit, and body - and when all three parts are in unity within one person, we are only then being the person God designed us to be. so if the Spirit invites you to stand, you will feel peace only when you oblige. am i wrong? is there no inner frustration with ourselves and with God's demands on our behavior when we refuse to do what He knows is best?
i know what it feels like to learn a lesson the hard way. i implore you to investigate the voice that wins in your heart over His. who's voice is it?
i think that if we were to fast from music for a time, that once we were only listening to God's voice about how He wishes our style to unfold - it would come alive. we could sing hymns that could pull us to joyful tears and raised hands, we could sing new songs with quiet spirits and soft responses.
we could find a way to put up with each other.
we are members of the body of Christ, we don't really get much say in the matter. we will be putting up with each other. so lets go ahead and get started. Jesus saves the moral and the immoral. He saves those who grew up in church and those who have yet to actually go into one. there's no room for singing selfish songs.
let's fast from music, and get to know each other. let's listen. we might pause and say, "oh. didn't know that about you!" and it might be terrifying. well, ok - it WILL be terrifying. worse than a roller coaster. which, now that i picture it - some people raise their hands on roller coasters, and some don't, yet i've never seen someone say, "you will never be allowed to ride this roller coaster again because you did/didn't raise your hands."
uhm, i should stop. the end. ...this should get interesting feedback.
"too long, too wordy!"
"you're crazy - i can't even tell what color your cool-aid is!"
"that is all unnecessary"
"that will never happen"
"i will never let that happen"
"seriously, use proper capitalization and grammar!"
or
just maybe
"daft, like jack"
(shouldn't watch movies before blogging)
9/17/13
paint me like the sky
breakfast, first lunch, second lunch, snack, dinner...
kinda like a hobbit, just blurring the lines a bit.
that's my goal. i actually have the first part down (up to second lunch, the rest is still in the air - but i'm hopin' for the best)
ADOS moment - it's raining! (attention deficit oh shiny! don't remember who i first heard that from, but i love it along w/ CDO, like OCD but in the right order as it should be). rain is a big deal here.
ok, back to food. which is also a big deal.
a big stupid annoying deal. one that i find myself in need of analyzing pretty often. so here i am again - recognizing that i have to fit one more meal into the day, or else.
or else i will be lacking in adequate energy for my body and mental functions, or else i will be scrawny forever... i mean, who looks at themselves in the mirror and has "skinny days" that make you feel sickly instead of stellar? this girl. so clearly i'm not anorexic. but i still have to figure out why i dont do anything about it. i need to figure out why i feel resistance to the necessary changes.
i have some thoughts, always do... i'm an adult - but i look like a kid. half of my life has been after the time most girls gain weight and begin their adaptation into ...uhm, womanliness? sure. yeah. well, i never did. so now here i am, under weight and used to my current body image. awkward-stages are for 10-14 year olds, not those of us sitting a few years from our 30's. so i have something i need to say:
i am ok w/ the awkward transition to my full life of energy and sanity. i am ready to be who i am supposed to be - mind and body.
uhm, can i talk to the ladies for a moment? guys can just skip to the next paragraph! thanks. honestly i dont think i should even write this, but it is one of my hurdles and i need to get over it. the idea and experience of shopping for bras is pretty much the equivalent of sending a guy to go in for feminine items. i just dont feel like i belong in that section of the store. like i'm some kind of imposter.
i'm kind of afraid to be seen. john eldridge, an awesome writer, describes an idea of making agreements w/ satan about lies in our hearts. one of mine is "i like being invisible, i want to be invisible, i'm good at being invisible, i should strive to be invisible in many aspects of my life..." you get the idea. hiding behind this computer screen is great. not having to actually say any of this to a real person is awesome - but even playing with the idea that i might actually push the "publish" button is freaking my little agreement right out of its little mind. and it helps a lot that i'm an introvert. i can pin so much of my invisibility-cloak mannerisms to my strong introversion. but this exceeds the definition, it doesnt fit that bill. that dog don't hunt, the bucket holds no water. being invisible is an agreement that imprisons me in a place of darkness - it shackles my communal soul.
i've been awe-stricken by the sky these last few months. God paints the sky for me. it's amazing. every single day, the ridiculous detail and nuance in the clouds and the sun - all timed w/ my coming and going. sometimes i go out when i'd really rather not - and that's when He has made the most spectacular sculptures and paintings up in the sky. i've got this little melody i sing to Him when i'm paying attention, just simply the line "You paint the sky for me." and i had a thought the other day - the sky is invisible in a way. we're going through life so fast that hardly anyone even sees the sky. it is only seen by those who take the time to look. and even then, how many of those see it for all its grandeur? "the sun is too hot" "the cloudy day is too grey" "will those clouds bring rain?" all so functional! well, i want God to paint me like the sky. seen by those who take the time. those who are too busy, well i was not made for them.
if i'm painted like the sky, i have permission to be a little more like God, and a little less like a crazy person - take note of how fine that line is: the sky is vast and ever changing, subtle or vibrant, beautiful always, full of both furry and comfort.
yeah. and if i'm like the sky, then i should go eat my snack.
kinda like a hobbit, just blurring the lines a bit.
that's my goal. i actually have the first part down (up to second lunch, the rest is still in the air - but i'm hopin' for the best)
ADOS moment - it's raining! (attention deficit oh shiny! don't remember who i first heard that from, but i love it along w/ CDO, like OCD but in the right order as it should be). rain is a big deal here.
ok, back to food. which is also a big deal.
a big stupid annoying deal. one that i find myself in need of analyzing pretty often. so here i am again - recognizing that i have to fit one more meal into the day, or else.
or else i will be lacking in adequate energy for my body and mental functions, or else i will be scrawny forever... i mean, who looks at themselves in the mirror and has "skinny days" that make you feel sickly instead of stellar? this girl. so clearly i'm not anorexic. but i still have to figure out why i dont do anything about it. i need to figure out why i feel resistance to the necessary changes.
i have some thoughts, always do... i'm an adult - but i look like a kid. half of my life has been after the time most girls gain weight and begin their adaptation into ...uhm, womanliness? sure. yeah. well, i never did. so now here i am, under weight and used to my current body image. awkward-stages are for 10-14 year olds, not those of us sitting a few years from our 30's. so i have something i need to say:
i am ok w/ the awkward transition to my full life of energy and sanity. i am ready to be who i am supposed to be - mind and body.
uhm, can i talk to the ladies for a moment? guys can just skip to the next paragraph! thanks. honestly i dont think i should even write this, but it is one of my hurdles and i need to get over it. the idea and experience of shopping for bras is pretty much the equivalent of sending a guy to go in for feminine items. i just dont feel like i belong in that section of the store. like i'm some kind of imposter.
i'm kind of afraid to be seen. john eldridge, an awesome writer, describes an idea of making agreements w/ satan about lies in our hearts. one of mine is "i like being invisible, i want to be invisible, i'm good at being invisible, i should strive to be invisible in many aspects of my life..." you get the idea. hiding behind this computer screen is great. not having to actually say any of this to a real person is awesome - but even playing with the idea that i might actually push the "publish" button is freaking my little agreement right out of its little mind. and it helps a lot that i'm an introvert. i can pin so much of my invisibility-cloak mannerisms to my strong introversion. but this exceeds the definition, it doesnt fit that bill. that dog don't hunt, the bucket holds no water. being invisible is an agreement that imprisons me in a place of darkness - it shackles my communal soul.
i've been awe-stricken by the sky these last few months. God paints the sky for me. it's amazing. every single day, the ridiculous detail and nuance in the clouds and the sun - all timed w/ my coming and going. sometimes i go out when i'd really rather not - and that's when He has made the most spectacular sculptures and paintings up in the sky. i've got this little melody i sing to Him when i'm paying attention, just simply the line "You paint the sky for me." and i had a thought the other day - the sky is invisible in a way. we're going through life so fast that hardly anyone even sees the sky. it is only seen by those who take the time to look. and even then, how many of those see it for all its grandeur? "the sun is too hot" "the cloudy day is too grey" "will those clouds bring rain?" all so functional! well, i want God to paint me like the sky. seen by those who take the time. those who are too busy, well i was not made for them.
if i'm painted like the sky, i have permission to be a little more like God, and a little less like a crazy person - take note of how fine that line is: the sky is vast and ever changing, subtle or vibrant, beautiful always, full of both furry and comfort.
yeah. and if i'm like the sky, then i should go eat my snack.
5/24/13
the things that catch us often never let go
i'm already an emotional nomad, why not be a physical one? ...only half kidding... about both... sorta. i'm reading a book called "the man who quit money" by mark sundeen, and it is fascinating. perhaps dangerously so. i still have to check out his (daniel suelo, who it's about) blog, but i will eventually. these are my favorite quotes from the book, as i've been reading it... oh, be warned, it's more religious than christian, though there is no doubt Jesus is a force w/in it. there's no way the christian book store would sell it (for reasons i dont disclose). oh, and you'll find a smattering of my thoughts along the way too (of course)
"...[those] who were looking for a more intense connection to the sacred than their churches could offer."
tragic reality. longing to change that in my own environment...
"if we're following our path, then worrying about what could or should happen is a worse illness than what could or should happen"
"it was refreshing at the time to know such a person after i had struggled with...situations where people were more concerned about making me who i wasnt rather than letting their own selves be known."
ouch, right?
and this, a description of suelo, "you were able to point out beautiful things even in the midst of your own despair."
and my current personal struggle! "if i can overcome what people think about me, i can overcome anything."
while it has been raining this whole afternoon, i had some thoughts lead by the mood of this book...
i want to be like the rain. it comes when You call it, it gives its all till it is gone and yet You can call it to come over and over. at the same time, it has no complaint if it isnt called...i suppose it is always called somewhere, i just dont always see it where i am. were i the center of anything, much less the falling rain.
after going into all the things i love about our current financial system (nothing), and the firm conclusion suelo comes to about it being illusory and even more so a symptom revealing "human inclination toward credit and debt" this is a passage we must come across soberly:
"poverty was once considered a christian virtue for it was meant to indicate a lack of concern for the values of this world and a concentration on the life to come,' writes vine deloria in God is Red. 'in the centuries after the protestant reformation, poverty was considered indicative of sloth and other sins, and it was seen as proof of the individual's degeneracy... as the white populace of christian america has become more affluent, the concept of stewardship has been developed to explain the embarrassingly rapid growth of wealth of a substantial number of peoples. the theory goes that we are not really greedy, God has simply blessed us by giving us wealth over which we are to exercise good stewardship."
he goes into what he really sees behind credit/debt: "our reliance on money is akin to original sin...'notice how predators and prey have no sense of vengeance, no pay back...(vengeance is mine, says the Lord). yet we humans have stolen payment and debt from the gods. we cannot freely give or freely recveive anything. we live under constant obligation."
fascinating.
"money perpetuated the fantasy of immortal earthly life, the illusion that we could determine the future."
huh. have we ever paused to consider the fact that we have a clothing store called banana republic? ever stop to think about what that means? it is pretty sickening. we glorify the idea of single-use functionality. be it only having one purpose or only having the ability to be used once.
we do this w/ our minds and our bodies. we have taken the glorious fractal of the created order - of the cosmos, of the earth, the body, even God - and reduced it to singularity. no wonder we have no joy, we're so easily embittered against everything and everyone and become ourselves believers of our own singular use.
i cant live that way. the soul is diverse....
this is a fun phrase, "prius-driving cousin of freeganism" haha, nice way to sum up the careful-culture we idealize in our suburban world.
i find this mentality so close to my own, "...my hardships were long-term, complex anxieties. what am i going to do with my life, how am i going to pay rent or pay insurance, what's retirement going to be like, what am i going to do for a career, what are people going to think if i do this or that? to me that stuff is actually unbearable. and i think most people are dealing with it."
ok, here's another painful swallow:
"wasnt that what Jesus said? do what I do? He was here as an example for us to follow. same with all the prophets. didnt the prophets tell us to be like them? that's what's wrong w/ christianity. they make Jesus and the prophets into icons, take them off of earth, and put them in heaven to worship them, so they're no longer accessible. you've taken a reality and made it into a worthless idol. christians talk about the idolatry of other religions, but when they no longer live principles and just worship the people who taught them, that's exactly what they're doing."
ah, at the end of the acknowledgments we find out that a woman dear to his heart agreed to marry him, and his last words to end it all (to her i presume): "love love love."
"...[those] who were looking for a more intense connection to the sacred than their churches could offer."
tragic reality. longing to change that in my own environment...
"if we're following our path, then worrying about what could or should happen is a worse illness than what could or should happen"
"it was refreshing at the time to know such a person after i had struggled with...situations where people were more concerned about making me who i wasnt rather than letting their own selves be known."
ouch, right?
and this, a description of suelo, "you were able to point out beautiful things even in the midst of your own despair."
and my current personal struggle! "if i can overcome what people think about me, i can overcome anything."
while it has been raining this whole afternoon, i had some thoughts lead by the mood of this book...
i want to be like the rain. it comes when You call it, it gives its all till it is gone and yet You can call it to come over and over. at the same time, it has no complaint if it isnt called...i suppose it is always called somewhere, i just dont always see it where i am. were i the center of anything, much less the falling rain.
after going into all the things i love about our current financial system (nothing), and the firm conclusion suelo comes to about it being illusory and even more so a symptom revealing "human inclination toward credit and debt" this is a passage we must come across soberly:
"poverty was once considered a christian virtue for it was meant to indicate a lack of concern for the values of this world and a concentration on the life to come,' writes vine deloria in God is Red. 'in the centuries after the protestant reformation, poverty was considered indicative of sloth and other sins, and it was seen as proof of the individual's degeneracy... as the white populace of christian america has become more affluent, the concept of stewardship has been developed to explain the embarrassingly rapid growth of wealth of a substantial number of peoples. the theory goes that we are not really greedy, God has simply blessed us by giving us wealth over which we are to exercise good stewardship."
he goes into what he really sees behind credit/debt: "our reliance on money is akin to original sin...'notice how predators and prey have no sense of vengeance, no pay back...(vengeance is mine, says the Lord). yet we humans have stolen payment and debt from the gods. we cannot freely give or freely recveive anything. we live under constant obligation."
fascinating.
"money perpetuated the fantasy of immortal earthly life, the illusion that we could determine the future."
huh. have we ever paused to consider the fact that we have a clothing store called banana republic? ever stop to think about what that means? it is pretty sickening. we glorify the idea of single-use functionality. be it only having one purpose or only having the ability to be used once.
we do this w/ our minds and our bodies. we have taken the glorious fractal of the created order - of the cosmos, of the earth, the body, even God - and reduced it to singularity. no wonder we have no joy, we're so easily embittered against everything and everyone and become ourselves believers of our own singular use.
i cant live that way. the soul is diverse....
this is a fun phrase, "prius-driving cousin of freeganism" haha, nice way to sum up the careful-culture we idealize in our suburban world.
i find this mentality so close to my own, "...my hardships were long-term, complex anxieties. what am i going to do with my life, how am i going to pay rent or pay insurance, what's retirement going to be like, what am i going to do for a career, what are people going to think if i do this or that? to me that stuff is actually unbearable. and i think most people are dealing with it."
ok, here's another painful swallow:
"wasnt that what Jesus said? do what I do? He was here as an example for us to follow. same with all the prophets. didnt the prophets tell us to be like them? that's what's wrong w/ christianity. they make Jesus and the prophets into icons, take them off of earth, and put them in heaven to worship them, so they're no longer accessible. you've taken a reality and made it into a worthless idol. christians talk about the idolatry of other religions, but when they no longer live principles and just worship the people who taught them, that's exactly what they're doing."
ah, at the end of the acknowledgments we find out that a woman dear to his heart agreed to marry him, and his last words to end it all (to her i presume): "love love love."
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