sometimes we kill things.

huh. turns out when you look up 'involuntary vegetarian' you find people writing about giving up meat because of health or a loved one. so i had to pick a different word, 'accidental vegetarian' got what i was looking for... i've noticed over the last few years i desire less and less meat, mainly beef and pork i guess, but i was just wondering if anyone else found themselves doing this. turns out yes, there are people out there who, like me, looked at themselves one day to notice a decreased consumption of meat. it's not really that big of a deal, but my parents think it's strange. and alongside that, i've had people ask me if i was vegetarian. to which i've answered, 'no'. it's usually followed by a 'but...'
i guess the reason it has caught my attention enough to write about it is my attempt to replace the meat w/ the greens and whatnot that i should be consuming. i'm not good about that. thankfully though i have always liked broccoli and peas... not the most substantial for a calorie-lacking individual like myself. i've recently been introduced to kale, and i find it much more enjoyable than cooked spinach. it doesnt get that weird stinky business going on. and it goes really fantastic with potatoes. any kind really, french fries, scalloped, mashed... it's a lovely pair.
anywho.
it's more than that, i dont care for dietary labeling. i think it's silly. so when people ask if i'm vegetarian, and then i say no because i like fish and stuph...then they move to asking if i'm pescetarian, etc. and i say no, i still eat the meat...just not often. but it's not just that, i really dont care to align myself w/ a diet type. it's almost a religious thing, if i let myself analyze how i truly see it. ah, now see here, this entry shows what i mean... we're a funny lot arent we? i would argue that anyone who eats outside of the vegan/vegetarian world is the flexitarian. what point is there in a label that has exceptions this diverse? i'm an 'x', but i anti-x in a few ways...so i'm not really an 'x' after all. i guess i'm a purist. i dont see the world the way vegans do, i think God has provided us w/ animals for food...which is why i see it as a religious issue. i think some people see the value of vegetarianism, and they shoot for the ideal, but they dont value vegetarianism, so they break the rules and give themselves a new name.
i wasnt really sure where this blog would go when i first started, i just felt like it would be a good topic for self-reflection... now i see what God is moving through in me. it's kinda neat, i hope you can appreciate it too.
we are spiritual beings, and people value the benefits of things like prayer and spiritual journeys, but they dont value prayer or spiritual journeys. food is like that. food is part of our journey. God did not design me to drink ensure (nutrition drink, i only like the chocolate ones, like you care.) just to get the calories i need to burn in order to function and 'do his will'. God designed me to enjoy the world, that is his will. he designed food to be not just a required part of life to take for granted, or to hoard, or to abstain from, or indulge in...
people are always talking about what diet they are on, how they're going to get on track this time... no, you are not going to get it right this time. you're doing it wrong. you're putting value in the idea, but you are not valuing the idea. one perspective keeps you on the outside, the other brings you into itself.
Jesus talked about abundant life... so why is it we wake up and think that life is somewhere outside of our immediate environment? i should be waking up to drink it all in, to step out of bed and feel the floor under my feet, to walk into my overflowing kitchen and partake in the goodness, then move into the day grateful (i should blog on the origin of that word, it doesnt make sense to me. full of grate?)...
ah, well sometimes it serves well for something to bother you - latin gratus. the root for grateful. i also think of grazie (italian for thank you), gracias (spanish), gratuity, grace... but gratus translates to 'pleasing'... thankfulness is rooted in pleasure.
life is never in short supply of demons. some of them are easy to see, and some are so well camouflaged that it isnt until we have stepped into the world of redesign in our minds - until we've redecorated - that they become dissonant to our senses. so long as they fit into our house (our minds), so long as they match the curtains, we walk by them daily. we dont spend a lot of time in other people's houses, so we just assume that everyone is like 'this', and that 'this' is normal. what brings me pleasure is knowing that God sees them. he sees my adoption of habits and spiritual ignorances (yes, i'm making it plural. it's too diverse to say there is only one perspective for myself to be ignorant in.) and ya know, even if everyone else does have 'this', doesnt mean that it's pretty.  i'm full of side-notes today, sorry. yes, so, moving on. as we walk with Jesus, he points at the curtains, and says hey lets go shopping, and you bring in new curtains. all of the sudden, you see the demon, and it feels strange. like a robber invading your home, yet... you know this guy. you've seen it everyday. but you've never seen it like this.
food is one of those things for me. i live a way, and then Jesus changes something. then the new way reveals that i've harbored a stranger. it reveals that the source of a painful displeasure, a hindrance from that abundant life (a voice that has said, "abundant life is a lie and is selfish, besides impossible") - now i see that what was once about food, is now about my soul. about my gratus. about my gracias. my grace.
the bit in this definition titled 'word story' ends by saying we dont want to give something a coup de grâce, but i think we do. that stranger hiding in the curtains needs to say good bye.
and i need to live out the abundant life, understanding the purpose and pleasure of food in my spiritual journey. thanks for tagging along!