it is for freedom He set me free...huh.

everywhere i turn i am facing 'you should desire advancement'. but i dont. i fight it. and i think it is ok. just read a book called 'embracing obscurity'...the author remains purposefully unknown. and for an author, that is quite the thing to do - they make money by people recognizing their name. an author wants their name to sell their books, for the loyal audience to anticipate their newest release and so on. but it is ok to release a book and not tell the world who did it. if i were in the music world, i always like to think i'd make all my songs public domain. but would i really?
i'm becoming more sure that i need to give my paintings away.
so, if you've ever eyed one, let me know and i will make sure you get to enjoy it.
yes. i feel really good about that.
i paint because it is inside me, and i do it hoping that it hits a note inside of you. and if it does - praise God. for those who i've already charged, i'm sorry. thanks for investing? sigh. life is crazy and my brain is properly upside down. ...it really bothers my dad. he wants me to be successful and safe, stable and secure. and he's my dad, he has every right to want that for me, he has the obligation to want that for me. i'm so blessed to have him and my mom.
the other day i felt this statement, "stop waiting for the worlds methods to line up, you weren't made for that"
ok then. i will live the way i was made. i do not live in this 'global economy' or local for that matter, there is a Father that owns it all anyway. and by golly i trust Him.
now, dont get me wrong. i'm not going to stop working or striving to do work and expect to be able to mooch off of the system or off of the church. paul made tents. but i'm not driven by money, and though i've become aware of my 'expensive tastes', i'm pretty sure i can figure out how to live on what i need.
and then i should give the rest away. what good will it do me if i dont?
my paintings, they sit in my house. sure mom rotates them on our walls... several are at the church. and if they keep letting me, more will end up there. but the last thing i want is a 'me' gallery there. oh dear no. may other people's work always out number mine!
i'm kinda excited about doing this.

before writing this, i read some emails and the links in them, and then i felt like i should write an entry. so i paused and asked, 'what about?' answer: 'Jesus'...
i flipped through my bible, but felt that wasnt what it meant.
so i just started typing, and now i realize that to live like Jesus and see how he sees, that's it. that's all it has ever been.
'why do you create this stress in your life?' ...well, because i'm supposed to do it that way.
'says who? not me, that's for sure. in fact, i've told you to stop it.' ...yes, i know.
'so we good then?' ...ha, yeah, Jesus, we're good.